Sunday, March 04, 2007

The "WEIGHT" is not over!

Okay, so I spent the past two days shopping with my daughter. We swept through two malls, Loehmanns, and two shoes warehouses.My sister Ellen loves to shop...she'll be jealous just reading about it! My feet are in desperate need of a massage! While shopping and trying on clothes(producing enough anxiety for a continent), the wait began. I took two sizes into the dressing room...the "I'm sure it will fit," and the "I pray this one fits." While I waited for the next available dressing room I couldn't help but think about the other wait, I mean "weight." I spent my entire childhood, "cute, but chubby," and believe me it was not pleasant. As a young adult I embarked on a Weight Watchers journey, ultimately bringing me down to a size 6-8. Aside from pregnancies I have stayed close to those sizes. Thanks to our society sizes do matter! It's hard to look away from the number on the ticket. Size has always defined who I was and I believe it still does. Anyway, as I embark on this Renewed Gluten Free Journey, a new struggle begins. Not having the luxuries of really good gluten free carbs just a few years ago has transformed into WOW, this is really good. Ask me how many Cherrybrook Farms chocolate chip cookies I've inhaled in the past three days! So now....I'm no longer taking just one bite of non-gf food and cheating. I'm clean, absolutely clean! But, one bite of the yummy gluten free bread and cookies isn't enough. I'm so terribly afraid that my WEIGHT will turn into double digits (heaven forbid). But, I've spent 5 years WAITING for yummy gf substitutions. Am I rambling on? Sorry, just venting I guess, about the WEIGHT issue that has plagued me all of my life. Anyone else out there on our planet with the same experience or struggling with the same issue? Please give me your two cents or more....Convince me that WEIGHT isn't nearly as important as health. Yes, I know it is but I don't think anyone living on a different planet really understands the struggle. With that said, I am excited because I'm making gf hamantashen (the PURIM cookie)AND I've decided to play hooky tomorrow, stay home, and drown in my cookies and milk. Then, I'll make my sister's GF chocolate chip cookies...what else could I make? Wanna join?

4 comments:

Ellen said...

One of the hardest challenges for me (after my Celiac diagnosis) was not eating every GF carb (cookie, bread, cake etc.) that came down the pike. After inhaling many boxes of Pamela's Organic Chocolate Chocolate Chunk (yes, double chocolate) cookies and wondering why my pants were getting tight, I realized and had to admit that prior to my Celiac diagnosis, I rarely ate cookies! So I had to ask myself why I was now allowing myself to eat cookies with wild abandon! I realized, thankfully, that I needed to reinstate my old way of monitoring the amount of carbs I ate. So, enjoy making my chocolate chip cookie recipe - try to freeze most of them! And then, think about getting back to the gym. It will make a world of difference when it comes to your weight and your bones!

Your loving sis,
Ellen

Lynn Barry said...

I read size 6-8 and thought huh? I am a size 18 so I know about weight issues. I hardly eat anything like I used to and I am still overweight. But I feel so darn good about the choices and not ever cheating on it the weight is secondary to the self esteem I have gained being free of all the things that make me feel awful; gluten, casein, eggs, soy, corn, sulfites and yeast.You are doing the right things...keep it up! HUGS

Faye said...

Thanks Lynn. I knew that my size and difficulty would stun people..but you hit the nail on the head...it's a self-esteem issue...and having grown up with a mother who always said, "do you need it" contributed 100% to my eating issue...meanwhile, I will take your advice and deal with the good I am doing my body by being gluten free. Thanks and hugs too...

Lynn Barry said...

Faye,
After I wrote it and posted it I had my doubts that it was the right thing to share and say, but I see that it was well received and when I think about my sister and her weight obsession I get where you are coming from. To me she looks tiny but as a chubby kid she still has that mindset and can't see that she is thin and in a good place now. Hopefully, she will some day.
On the other hand, I was called "Skinny Lynnie" when I was young and I still think I am until I catch a glimpse of my backview...but I like me so I guess that is how I am. I would like to lose about 50 pounds and I just might one of these days. I know all I have to do is eat less and move around more. We can inspire each other and that is what blogging is all about. HUGS